in our arms
for a little while,
we hold in
our hearts forever.
One year ago today I delivered Seth Timothy at 23 weeks. As you most likely remember, he was already present with the Lord before we ever got to meet him. To see his precious prints, you can see the previous posts.
I wish I had something profound to type for you to read... something that would help draw you closer to our Lord... something that would help you draw closer to your children, family, and friends... but honestly I don't.
I don't really know how to feel or what to think. I'm not angry. I might still be a little numb. Occasionally, I'm still sad. But mostly, I'm at peace.
This last year has been a roller coaster. Only 8 weeks after delivering Seth, we were expecting again... our sweet Virginia. We wouldn't have Virginia if we had Seth. If *I* had to choose, I couldn't. I'll never understand God's plan here, but I don't want a God I can understand. I rest in the fact that He is sovereign, and I really am okay with that. I would never choose to have neither. They both have been a blessing in many ways. I know when we're in heaven that our family will be perfect and complete. In the meantime, we'll do our best to love Virginia and train her up in the Lord. We know Seth is already perfect in the presence of the Lord worshipping Him. According to the book we used... Seth means "chosen" and Timothy means "to worship," and as we see it, our Seth Timothy was chosen to worship the Lord now in His presence. One day we'll be by his side worshipping. Oh, what a day that will be!
You may recognize the tree above. It is the little dogwood tree we planted last summer in my father's yard in memory of Seth. Isn't it beautiful? My sister took these pictures for me about 2 weeks ago when it was in full bloom. I sure wish I could have seen it in person. Something I just realized as uploading these pictures is kind of ironic, I guess you would say. If you notice the white rocks at the base of the tree, my father put those there. The ironic thing, I guess, is that those were my grandma's rocks (she collected lots of pretty rocks). My grandmother is who we named our Virginia after. So Seth's tree has Virginia's rocks around it.
Well, I hope today you will lift us up as we continue to remember our Seth Timothy and continue to work through some grief. We don't have any special plans for today. He doesn't have a grave to visit. Our only memorial is in TN... the tree. We hope to get a rock of some sort with something engraved on it to put with his tree. So, I don't know what we'd do if we decided to do something.
I don't want to forget Seth. I know I won't. But I don't want to make a shrine out of him or his tree or anything like that. He was a precious gift that we got to enjoy for a brief time... but love for our lifetime.
Thank you for your support over the last year.
Love,
Melinda =0)
