Two years ago today, we went to the hospital to deliver Seth Timothy although we knew he was already in the hands of our Lord. The memory of that day doesn't fade. It feels just as vivid today as it did then. That memory is filled with joy and pain.
Many of you may think that the memory may begin to fade or that it wouldn't be something I'm often reminded of; however, whenever someone asks the simple question, "How many children do you have?" I almost feel panicked. I still don't know how to answer this question... two years later. Sometimes, I just keep it simple and say "five," but I almost always feel like I'm being less than truthful. Lots of times when I say five, but the conversation continues, I will mention Seth; however, I don't always. Then I feel like I've betrayed the memory of my son.
I realize this may seem silly, but this is a hurdle I'm still trying to jump. I also wonder if I'm missing an opportunity to minister to someone who has had a similar loss by not mentioning our Seth. The Bible is clear that He helps us through our suffering so that we can then help someone through theirs. I want to be faithful.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
I am still thankful for our Seth. I still trust the Lord in His sovereignty. Do I still shed some tears over Seth? Yes, on occasion. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because I still remember driving away from the hospital with empty arms. I also have joyful memories from that day because it was the only day I got to hold my Seth and look at his beautiful hands and feet. Every detail of him was beautiful. His tiny lips were perfect. My God is an awesome God.
Above are the pictures of Seth's tree this year. My Daddy is in one of them. Please pray for him as he is fighting for his life against cancer. The tree is in his yard. I'm also trusting God in this situation.
